My dangerous bathroom
I had no idea I was risking my life every day, just by entering my bathroom! It’s amazing, the things we adults fail to notice, right under our very noses.
Sam just told me the reason he takes so long in the bathroom is because of all the distractions…
Such as the secret surveillance room under the house, accessed by pressing a spot in the pattern on the living room rug. Once in the room, you can see every room in the house on screens, via hidden surveillance cameras.
The ones in the bathroom are masquerading as specks of dirt on the floor(who knew!-I thought we were just poor housecleaners).
If the cameras detect bad guys, a little alarm goes off: “INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!” and a little wall comes up around the house so nobody can get out of it.
Then, if you’re in the secret room, you can press a button and the tiles on the bathroom wall slide over to reveal secret panels, bristling with hidden guns, which mechanically protrude into the room and point unerringly at the unlucky intruder. A robotic voice says: “Hands up!“.
At that point, if the intruder is in the bathtub, the bottom opens up and dumps them through. If they are on the toilet, the toilet flushes, the pipes enlarging to accommodate the riffraff, and a robotic arm grabs them and stuffs them down into the bowl.
If we want to capture them, instead of getting rid of them with the murderous flushomatic, the sides of the bathtub automatically turn into rows of laser guns.
If the intruder merely steps into the room without using the tub or toilet, the floor tiles can also react to their steps and the observer in the secret room can activate the tiles to cause dilation and thus, plunge the unsuspecting intruder through the floor.
Holy guacamole, peeing will never be the same again!
Sam assures me this only happens if it’s definately a bad guy.
Phew.