Being enmeshed in a legal battle with an exloved one is hell.

every time I feel really good, clean, free, happy and right on about my life, I get a reminder that it's still not over, may never be over...

It's like a stain that won't go away, or glue. You can't leave it behind, you can't ignore it because if you do it grows while you're not looking.

Lurking behind polite expressions, the demons are feeding on every unguarded moment, every small gesture of affection, or of irritation. Grabbing it all up, twisting them into weird nasty little weapons. Muttering and chortling in their sickness, their paranoid delight, these demons are the ruin of us all. They build weapons, arsenals, perpetuate conflict, feed war, hatred, destruction.

There they are. Lurking, waiting for us weak humans to let them possess us, use our minds and bodies to wreak havoc on the world.

Where do we find the strength to resist our dark impulses? How do we stand courageous before dread and say NO! I, small human being that I am, will not allow this?

I will not listen to the dark mutterings. I will not be overcome by jealousy and anger. I will see clearly, I will listen truly, with all my might, all my powers of discernment, I will strive to be aware, to perceive accurately, to comprehend and to act righteously.

Were I religious, I'd say: God help us all.