April 30, 2003
you know you've gone off the deep end...
...when you obsessively wash, fold and put away every last piece of dirty laundry in a 6 person household-even though it takes you three days of nonstop laundering and it will inevitably pile up again and again and again.
It's a never-ending story, but somehow I just needed something, some little, albeit meaningless thing to be DONE with, to be completely finished. If only for an hour or so.
Completion. There's something so satisfying about completing a task. Especially when it seems as though everything else in your life is unfinished, scattered, up in the air...
I remember reading a story about an abused woman who killed herself, with a gun, in her kitchen. Before she suicided, she scrubbed and mopped the heck out of the kitchen. That image stayed with me. This poor woman, so full of pain and suffering, carefully, thoroughly, cleaning her kitchen-making herself a spotless, shining place to die.
Hey, sorry for the doom and gloom. It's the third term blues, I guess. My whole class seems to be going through it. We had this big group bitch/counseling session about it in class tonight. We've been flip-flopped between way too many teachers this term and had all these unexpected changes in homework and new responsibilities laid on us-not to mention our lives outside of school going haywire, like Sams nasty ear infection this past week.
But I'm hanging in there, taking care of Sam, getting my garden planted slowly. I'm bummed I'm gonna miss the Seattle Tilth plant sale this weekend. It totally rocks and I usually get all my tomatoes and such there...But I've got an elective, Hawaiin massage, all weekend. Plus I promised I'd do reiki at this cool art performance thing Saturday night, and then monday I have to go to the morning class so I can go to aids education in the evening-and somehow in all that I need to do homework and study for the COMPREHENSIVE (as in covering the entire first three terms of learning) anatomy and physiology test coming up in a mere couple weeks. GAHHHHHHHHHH!
I'm freaking out! And Terra's not even here to share it with me.
But don't worry (any of you patient souls who have made it this far in my diatribe), I'm not gonna do anything too dramatic... My kitchen floor's not clean enough for that.
April 29, 2003
Yay!!! D got the comments up before he flew away. Now you can tell me all about it.
Here it is folks! Daniel and I have been working on this for weeks and weeks.
It's not quite all together, the comments don't work yet(sorry, I know there are hordes of you eager readers out there simply dying to gush about the loverly new design), but he's off to New York for a week starting tomorrow and we just couldn't wait to put it up! You can email me comments at Rzan@rzanimals.com if you wish.
There's no place like home.
April 26, 2003
when, oh when...
They went to Israel what seems like many moons ago... About a week? D and I keep planning yummy stuff for dinner and thinking: "Hey we should call Josh and Je... Oh yeah... They're still gone..."
Boy, do we miss those guys. I hear they get back Monday... Just in time to keep me company when Daniel leaves for New York on tuesday(boohoo)
April 23, 2003
Terra honey, it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD to see you! I miss you like crazy sometimes. I need your wild, squeezable,
sweet, sensuous, squeezable, beautiful, strong,
yummy, squeezable, freaked-out(especially when caffeinated), topsy-turvy, tender, liscious, funny, adorable, squeezable,
passionate, vocal, radiant and potent as a chipotle pepper self.
Did I say squeezable? Ummmhmmmmmmmmmmm! I love, love, love you.
April 20, 2003
This beautiful photo of Sammy on the rope swing was taken by Sam's dad, Jonathan in his backyard.
the rythm of the brain
CRANIO SACRAL weekend was extraordinary.
Mandy (my new friend from the am class) and I had to confess our stillpoint addiction. It's so amazing. Just the lightest touch, not even moving, just cradling the occiput (the back of the head) and out you go... Right to dreamland, although it's not really like sleeping. It's kind of like lucid awakeness, if that makes any sense. A lot of us saw weird stuff, colors, lines. Some relived birthing(both being born and giving birth), some experienced amazing sensations.
When you hold the cranial rythm at the occiput still, it's as though you are filling up with energy. A lot of us reported feeling as though they'd slept for hours, even though it only lasts a few minutes. It's an amazing place to be, inside your completely still body. Our teacher Hannah explained it as being like a reset button for the body. Our bodies do it naturally themselves, but sometimes they don't get around to it and they really need that pause-to observe, to heal, to correct little imbalances and stuck spots.
It may sound a little crazy to the scientifically minded, but emotions can be stored in body areas and then released during a cranio sacral session, along with associated sensations, visions and sounds. And when you hold someones skull in your hand and feel the bones move, watch them go into a deeper consciousness... Well, it's just a pretty amazing thing to do. Almost like some sort of instant meditation, like accessing the spirit for a moment.
Another incredible thing about the class was seeing all the amazing structures we have in our heads. Like the SPHENOID bone, one of the skulls interior boney plates. It lies behind our eyes (and most of the eye muscles are attached to it) and it looks like a butterfly. Beautiful, I think I'm gonna sculpt one-maybe as an angels wings.
Stillpoint. Yeah, I'm hooked.
April 12, 2003
weekend on ice
I got to submerge my feet in ice water, warm water, ice water, warm water and ice water yet again today. Not to mention exploring the joys of icepacks, icecups and heating pads up close and personal-like.
Torture weekend at Brenneke, otherwise known as hydrotherapy.
It was actually kinda fun, in a weird way. We did a lot of giggling and gasping. Tomorrow is Spa applications so we get to do salt scrubs and hot towelling. I'm looking forward to that! Even if I do havta get up too frickin early.
Next weekend is Cranio Sacral... Which I'm also excited about but...
Maybe someday I'll have a life again.
April 11, 2003
It just so happens to be Caras birthday today-Happy B-day Cara!
She was in my dream last night.
She remodeled my bathroom. I couldn't find the bathtub. "Where's the tub?" I asked, a bit befuddled by the unasked for renovation. She points, "Oh, up there" At first I thought it was another sink, then I realized it was indeed the tub, about chest level.
"Hmmm... How do you get in?" I wondered. But Cara was busy cranking on something.
Well, it certainly made for a lot more floorspace.
I was relaxing in the jacuzzi style tub on the other side of the room when Cara showed me the most unique feature of the new bathroom. She dove across the room and swam through the glass side of the tub I was in, melting gracefully thru it like a digital image morphing.
Needless to say, I was completely dumbfounded.
Happy Birthday Cara!
April 05, 2003
Beautiful sights at the Arboretum
Daniel and I celebrated our first anniversary today with a loverly, cold, 20% rainy walk at the Arboretum.
We met Maria, the magnificent cherry tree:
and the mysterious Leafman.
Who swore up and down that he was not the nefarious Malpruner who is currently terrorizing the Arboretum's shrubbery with his sneaky attempts at pruning. Apparently he is often seen with his sidekick, the little wire-haired terrier.