October 30, 2003
goddamn pretty day
It's so beautifully sunny out.
Why's it gotta be so damn cold?
October 18, 2003
poor poor mousie
Why is it that cats must demonstrate their prowess by tormenting and murdering small creatures?
Our Kaya, lovely cat that she is, likes to show up in the middle of the night to loudly announce the demise of her latest victim with a very proud: "Meorrowl!"
This time it was a sweet little velvety soft brown mouse with a white belly. She pawed it a few times, but the poor little thing was already a goner.
I never quite know how to react. Part of me wants to yell at her and part of me wants to congratulate her-she looks so happy with herself!
Sadly, I carried the wee body out to the garden. Kaya looked on with a confused and(perhaps just in my anthropomorphic imagination?)rather disgusted look.
*Bah! Humans! They just don't get it.*
October 17, 2003
not a heart attack
This crazy thing happened to me yesterday. It felt like a heart attack. I had just got to work(new job, landscaping-hard work, long hours-the reason I haven't been blogging), it was like, 8am or so. My boss was giving us instructions and I was just standing there listening to her. I started to feel strange, kind of breathless, so I went to get a drink of water from my backpack. As I was kneeling to drink my breathing got worse. For a few minutes I tried to concentrate on what she was saying but I couldn't listen effectively. I had to just work on just breathing. I knew that if I stood up I'd pass out. My chest felt tight and started to hurt. It got worse and worse, I didn't think I was going to be able to maintain consciousness and I was afraid I might die, or wake up in a hospital with all kinds of tubes sticking outta me so I told them they'd better call an ambulance. My hands and arms were tingling with this crazy pins and needles sensation, it got so bad they were involuntarily clenching-it was a major effort to unclench them. I also started burping. The medics arrived(thank god for those guys, they were awesome, big, strong, friendly, calm and efficient men-just the thing in a scarey situation) and asked questions and checked my blood pressure and stuff. The intensity started to subside a bit. They said they didn't think it was a heart attack. I soon felt better, enough to stand up and so they said I should go see a doctor. Daniel came and took me to see my Nurse practitioner. She didn't know what had happened to me either and on monday I'm going to have an EEG and an EKG to test my heart and brain.
Pretty freaky. I don't know what to think. My mom thinks I've just hit the end of my rope, the limits of what my stressed out body will do for me. She forbids me to go back to work. P'raps she's right, 10 hour days spent hunched over rich peoples flowerbeds painstakingly removing every wilted petal and fallen leaf with freezing fingers and soaked, cold feet and legs, not to mention all the raking, weeding, shoveling dirt and dragging heavy tarps full of muddy leaves and weeds isn't really the best idea for me right now.
It's hard not knowing what's going on. My chest still kind of hurts, it's hard to take a really deep breath and I'm still burping from time to time. I don't know what to think or do.
On a lighter, less life threatening note, my massage license finally came yesterday. So now it's Roseanne Edson, LMP and y'all can pay for my massages!
October 06, 2003
Nice things to wake up to