January 23, 2004
One thing that's been good about being sick for so long is that Daniel has read me a heck of a lot of 'The Lord of the Rings'.
Another thing is drawing:
January 19, 2004
life is out there
I just saw a cat chase a bird across the yard.
I feel pretty remote. A ghostly princess in a tower of illness.
'Cept most princesses in stories don't go about hacking their lungs up in unladylike spasms, blowing ghastly slime out their noses and sweating through 3 shirts a night.
Actually last night was better. I only had to change shirts once.
But I'm just so damn tired and my poor boy is sick too-this goddamn bug got into his ear and his papa called me(I was barely conscious) to say he had to take him to the emergency this weekend.
Fuck. One of the worst things about split custody is knowing your little boy is real sick and you can't even hold him 'cause he's way the fuck out in fucking Woodinfuckingville.
Well he'll be back today and I managed to get up and take a shower so I don't LOOK like a total death hag even though I still sound like one.
Wonder if that cat ate that bird?
January 12, 2004
looks like mona lisa is having a bad day
is the lyric that kept repeating in my head yesterday as I suffered through a nasty, nasty flu.
You know the kind... chills, fever, every tiny ache you had before becomes a massive agony... The splitting icepick of a headache that had subsided due to repeated large doses of ibuprofen comes back, but this time, it brings along its big brothers, the sinus jackhammers. Not to mention the sore, sore, throat and enough pleghm to choke a water buffalo.
This one had some interesting variants though. When the headache got really intense there was this flashing pulsating light behind my eyes, like dim lightening. At first it would stop when I opened my eyes, but by evening it just kept going. It was freaking me out. I figured either my head was so massively full of mucus that it was pressing on my optic nerves, or the fever was dehydrating me(my throat was so sore I couldn't even drink much water)or my brain was going to explode.
I finally broke a sweat, which was a relief 'cause that kicked my inner circuitry down from *broil* to merely *bake*. On the way from my bed to the closet to get a dry shirt I discovered that my equilibrium was totally screwed. I fell against the shrine, knocking a bunch of glass and metal candleholders and water bowls off. Luckily, we are a bunch of slobs nowadays and there was a huge heap of dirty laundry on the floor. It actually felt rather nice to lay on the soft pile of clothes on the cool floor, so I sat there for a while assessing my options. I decided I didn't really trust my balance enough to attempt to sort it all out, so I made a mental note on the blurry notepad in my foggy brain to ask Daniel to see if I'd broken any altarthingies next time he came to check on me. Calling to him was out 'cause my voice was currently a cross between a hoarse whisper and a ghastly death rattle. It actually seemed kind of funny to me at the time. I felt a little high, if it wasn't for the killer headache, raw sorethoat and the annoying flashing it might have been enjoyable sitting there on the floor in limbo.
Eventually, after calculating the distance to the top of the closet shelf where the clean shirts were-well, really I just glanced up and thought: 'Zan, don't even try to stand up right now.' Then rummaged about in the heap and came up with a shirt that(I hope)wasn't too dirty, got my wet one off and my dry one on and climbed back onto the bed again, feeling absurdly proud of myself for the effort.
We have(had) a pretty gold touchlamp by our bed, with glass unicorns. It was given me for christmas by an exboyfriend a long time ago when the world was young and innocent. The kind you touch and it lights up, again and it lights brighter. It just takes a nice gentle touch, which is what I thought I was giving it, but my hand reached farther than my head told it to and...CRASH! No more lamp.
The damn thing was smashed to pieces on the floor, but it was still on. Bloody hell! Clearly this was too hazardous to ignore, I had to get reinforcements. I waited a few moments, hoping my man might have heard the crash, but he was too caught up in geek night with the boys, plus he'd closed the doors and blocked them with blankets in a humanitarian attempt to keep their headthumping workin' tunes from thumping my poor head.
So I marshalled my forces and made a run for the door. Actually it was more of a totter for the door, but I made it out into the hall and croaked for Daniel. He followed me back to the scene of the crime and took care of my little disaster.
What a day. I finally couldn't stand the burning heat and the freaky flashing and I took my down comforter out into the back yard and stumbled up our three terraces to the hammock. The cold wet grass felt heavenly on my bare feet and the cold air on my forehead was a joy.
I lay dreamily curled up in the hammock for hours watching the moon and stars appear and disappear behind the clouds. I guess I drifted off 'cause when I woke up I noticed the computer room light was off, so it must be the magical witching hour when geek night was over. I wandered back in and found Daniel wondering where the heck I was.
Did I mention that I caught myself on fire earlier? I was trying to make myself some oatmeal and tea. As I put the pot on the burner I had this peripheral sensation that I'd leaned a little too close and my new floppy black shirt had come perilously close to the flames. But a casual glance revealed no fire so I started to stir the oatmeal... I became aware a few moments later of heat swiftly intensifying on my hip and whipped around to find the hem of my shirt in flames! Shite! I whipped it off and doused it with the faucet. Amazingly enough I did it all so silently that the kids didn't even notice.
I decided to eat the oatmeal as it was(mostly cooked) and forego tea. I plunked my sick ass down on the couch and waited 'til the boys came home to take over kid duty so I could go collapse.
That was all yesterday. Today I feel a little better, but still like somebody kicked my ass and wiped the floor with me. I guess somebody did, zillions of little tiny microscopic opportunistic somebodies.
They sure make microbes mean nowadays.
January 06, 2004
Daniels awesome story on the tinyblog.
His beautiful sister Elisabeth just went into three year retreat. It's a pretty tale.
christmas in Rockford
Sam in Karens pretty red truck
dinner was awesome, chicken, 'sparagus and mashpotatoman
Grandma Karen n Sam, triumphant with new lego boat
the best part of dinner-eating the little mashpotatosnowman
Molly was a little scarey at first, but by the end, they were friends.
I didn't get any pics of Daniels buds, but I sure had fun meeting them.
Happy new year Bill, Steve and Little Joe!
Happy new year Karen and Molly!
Thanks for a wonderful time.
Dagnabit! It's finally snowing in Seattle but our cameras dead, so I can't show y'all how cute we look all bundled up, sledding in the snow.
What fun. We walked over to Meadowbrook Hill and borrowed some sleds. Daniel did some deathslides(luckily he didn't die) down the forested drop off to the river. The rest of us mostly stayed on the regular sledhill. Zoomityzoom!
Sam had a blast til his feets got all froze and we had to head back homewards.
The holidays were all over the place and now w'ere back settling in, the whirlwind is over, it's all snowy outside and D and I are finally side by side at our computers processing photos. So it's time to blog. I think I'll do the christmas pics...See the next post.