The Palace of Loverzan Don't mess with the palace guardian.
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June 22, 2004
multidimensional slut

Slut!

Insult, or accolade?

Slut!

Does it make you cringe?

Or salivate?

Slut!

Where do you fall on the slutline? How do you define yourself? Can you use this word, steeped in cultural bias, in centuries of leering and condemning, can you use it to free yourself and the women in your life?

Can you see a beautiful, powerful, sexually hungry woman and not condemn her? Not label her, fear her, judge her, demean her? Let her experiment, enjoy, revel in her body and her freedom?

Can sluttishness and integrity go hand in hand? Or are the two things parenthetical to each other?

I guess what I'm seeking here is a definition for my own inner slut.

I am a slut. A slut with integrity, an ethical slut, a liberal slut, a wanton, wicked slut, a sacred slut, a powerful demanding slut, a willing eager loveslave slut, a proud slut, a carnal, lustful slut. I am a multi-talented, multi-dimensional slut.

I'm not afraid to use the word, I love it when my lover does-it's sexy and playful and drives me wild. Being a slut is fun.

Obviously, I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

My recent post on short shorts and the comments it got from Beavis, Butthead and Bill got me going and then I saw this awesome article on My Secret Life as Prostitute.

The author, Mark Morford has some pretty interesting, and quite humorous, theories:

'Which brings me to my flawed theory as to why there exists such a nasty double standard, why there will always be a double standard, why men who have tons of unbridled wanton sex are considered hunky lotharios and women who have tons of unbridled careless stupid sex are considered sleazy unwanted harlots barely more highly evolved than a rat snake.'

He goes on to say:

'That is to say, women do indeed have a higher degree of responsibility with their sex because it is their most potent and divine strength, a dazzling and eternally alluring hunk of mystical magic, just as men have more responsibility not to abuse their physical strength and their awesome ability to barbecue meats or parallel park'

Luckily for him, he's not afraid to admit:

'I was wrong.

I have been set straight, more or less. I have been informed by some very smart very attuned young women with whom I shared the idea for this column that if I offered up this theory, that if I were to humbly suggest that women do, in fact, have a bit more accountability with their sexuality, I would be smacked upside the ideological head. By women. Smart women. Powerful women. Cool women who know things. '

and:

'It is, in its way, just another trap. It is, once again, putting the responsibility for sex and sluttiness and the procreative potency back onto women who don't necessarily want it or need it or feel like they have to embody anybody's inflated sexual notions of anything.

This is what they say. Just leave us the frick alone, let us play with our energies and strengths how we see fit, let us be just like men, not judged and not put upon, and let us be free to define ourselves how we want to, for good or ill, as guys seem to get to do, as the world has refused to allow us to do for, you know, millennia. To which I say, hell yes.'

and he concludes that what the world needs is more:

'self-defined sluts, luminous or divine, ugly or silly, egregious or annoying, regularly nonjudged sluts who can do whatever they want and sleep with whomever they want and who don't have to worry about what the hell "progressive" men or "enlightened" columnists or gum-snapping bimbo "Bachelor" bait have to say about it.'

It's a good read. I agree heartily on most of it.

I think sluttiness and morality have to be decided on by each individual person, just as each individual person has to sort out what their boundaries are, what their choices will be, who they want to be.

The thing that bothers me is the potential for harming others. It seems to me that just taking the attitude that women should have the same sexual freedom as men doesn't quite cover the whole problem.

Yes, women should have the same sexual freedoms as men.

But, in my opinion, both women and men should take a good hard look at how they exercise that freedom, whom they may be hurting, what they really want and need, and whether they are being honest with others and with themselves about what they are doing.

Sex is such a tricksy thing. We all have so much riding on it. Our feelings of desireability, security, our cravings, our fears of inadequacy, and loneliness. Sex and all the hot, flirty, sexy, delicious attention and affection that come with it, feels so damn good, so vital and juicy, so ripe with pleasure and naughtiness. It's easy to justify doing things that we know in our hearts are not in line with our deepest integrity.

For me, being a slut is playing with fire. One should do so with care, or someone is going to get burned.

Sigh... It's hard being a slut with a conscience.

:)

June 17, 2004
Goodbye Gofish

Hello Pesky 'Apostrophe!

Too bad, I really liked Mac's Fishies, but hey, what the heck, now I can read all about ...Panda Porn?

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 04:08 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
June 16, 2004
summer!

it's so kickass sunny out.

I gotta git me some sunscreen so I can wear my new supersexysummershorterthanshortshorts-no, they're notTHAT short -they don't enter the realm of cameltoes or have slut written all over them just some good ol' fashioned jean short longleggity summer sexiness.

Think I'll walk up to Lake City. Maybe someone will bark at me-wouldn't be the first time.

:)

Hope I don't get burned.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 11:39 AM | Pipe Up! (6)
June 15, 2004
almost garlic harvest time

I can't wait.

It's one of my most favorite garden things, Sam loves to pull them out and then I braid them all long and purty and hang them up.

Nothing like fresh-pulled garlic-it slips right out of the clove-shell like butter, so smooth and delicious.

Mmmmm....

Nearly Pesto time.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 09:38 PM | Pipe Up! (5)
June 07, 2004
the reefs and rocks of love

I will not become Mrs Roseanne Talsky this summer.

It's hard to let go of. It hurts. I'm crying a lot.

But we are working things out and we plan to stay together, to re-establish the trust and the awesome friendship and love that we had before all hell broke loose.

I know it's best this way. There's a lot to be worked out before that kind of commitment would be wise.

But knowing doesn't stop me from desperately wanting...

Something.

A wild windswept storm of love to shake all the leaves off the trees and leave them bare, revealed, their naked glory undeniable.

Or,

Some small humble thing,
a lantern,
or a warm muffin.

Something inconsequential and infinately reassuring.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 03:11 PM | Pipe Up! (4)
June 02, 2004
cold, cold feet

Sorry I haven't been posting much.

It's been kinda suckville lately. D and I have the serious premarital jitters.

Jitters? Grrrahck! It's more like a fucking hurricane, and it's sweeping us away on a tide of pure fear.

What is it about relationship that brings up so much anger, hostility, resentment, rebellion, pride, guilt, insecurity, jealousy, nastiness and fear, fear, FEAR?!

After Chenrezi(meditation practice) yesterday, we sat out on the porch with our good friend Nate. He gave us a lot of love and made us laugh a bit, joking about the phrase: 'On top of your shit'-such a bizarre image-see how organised I am? I've got all my shit stacked up in nice neat little mound. I see a Gollum-like creature here, squatting on the rim of a mountain of turdbricks, gathering them up in his flappy hands and placing them lovingly on top of the pile... Chattering to himself all the while about keeping the nasty hobbitses away from his precious turdses.

I think it's more that you have to stay on top of the stinking, steaming heap and sort it out, else it will bury you and you will die, scrambling, groping, and finally suffocating in your own excrement as it piles up over you.

I guess it helped(the practice and the company if not the fecal imagery) 'cause D and I actually talked last night and made love, instead of wailing and roaring and jabbing at one another with pointy sticks.

We've got an appointment to meet a therapist for the first time tonight.

Wish us luck, 'k?

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 12:55 PM | Pipe Up! (4)
Mountain dweller