The Palace of Loverzan Don't mess with the palace guardian.
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Enjoy your visit.
January 31, 2005
God, I still feel jazzed...

but man, it's almost 3am.

Must. Go. To bed.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 02:52 AM | Pipe Up! (0)
earlier today...

The Jedi returned and vanquished the Emperor, saved his father and Han(not in that order), and there was much blasting of starships.

Sam was wide-eyed and awestruck.

It was great.

Oh, and Bilbo met Gollum, found the ring and riddled his way out of the Goblin caverns. (we finished all four books of the 'Wrinkle in Time' series and are well into the Hobbit).

It's been a terrifically fun, adventurous week so far. On saturday the Empire struck back.... You shoulda seen Sam's eyes when Vader chopped off Luke's hand and told him the Big secret-thunderstruck.

Poor sweetie.

He covered his face when Luke took off Darth's helmet, completely overcome, but peeking past his hands in fascinated horror.

Still, it wasn't TOO SCAREY!

I'd forgotten how much fun those movies were... and how cute and cocky Harrison Ford was eons ago.

Hmmm... Might have to rent Indiana Jones.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 02:46 AM | Pipe Up! (2)
riding the waves

Amazing, what hormones can do, coursing about in a midnight moontime girl.

This menstruating every three weeks thing, while it's kinda taxing my system with the frequent heavy bloodloss n'all, is curiously, intermittantly, wonderful.

Rapturous waves of pure lovingness blossom all around me, my spirit soars skyhigh in almost 'shroomlike bliss.

I feel full and deep and heavenly. Gorgeous, and powerful, gigantic-yet strangely light and spacious.

Everything is surges and waves and art flows from every pore in my whole gently throbbing, intensely charged body.

Love spills from me, cannot be contained, will not be constrained... It feels so good to just let it go, flow, give it play.

My breasts ache as though bursting with milk, the nipples sizzling for suckling... Odd how similar the sensation is.

Let it go.

Let it play.

Everything feels good, well, whole, divine.

Right now. I am not afraid. Of anything.

My whole body arches, lifts, sensuous, ripe, awake, ready. It's brilliant, this hormone-charged infusion of delight rippling through me. Nothing can tarnish it, no fear, doubt, shame or worry.


It's perfect.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 02:15 AM | Pipe Up! (0)
Escher McZan on Guinness

I doodled this at Paddy's celebrating my roomies birthday with her homies, somewhere in amongst the smooth creaminess of the Guinness, the thick richness of Irish stew(with Guinness) and all the 'chocolate cake' shots(no Guinness, thanksbe).

It was a fine birthday for a fine lass, even if she was a wee bit hungover for teaching spa massage in the morn'.


MC Escher is one of Sam's most favorite artists... He spends hours looking at the two books I have of the man's mindbending, metamorphic artworks.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 01:23 AM | Pipe Up! (0)
January 27, 2005
recent works


This painting was inspired by a kickass picture I saw of Ani Difranco on the back of Bitch magazine.


Kali, now dancing on the wall of my friend Debra.


Chaos/balance. This was my christmas day painting.


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 01:34 AM | Pipe Up! (1)
January 26, 2005
what I love

...making my son giggle so hard, his mouth falls open, but no sound comes out.

I'm not sure how this happens... The giggles just goes all inaudible from the sheer funniness of the moment.

It thrills my heart every time. Lucky for me, it's not hard to do.

Last night we were both feeling low, so I finally persuaded him to watch Star Wars with me. I told him he was old enough now that it wouldn't be TOOOO SCAREY! for him, as was the case a year or so ago.

It was so fun! He loved it. We can hardly wait to watch The Empire Strikes Back when he gets back from his dads on saturday.

I'm so psyched... The kids got a whole world of good movies ahead of him now.

Anyway, after the movie I made us ostrich meatballs, corkscrew noodles and peas, and somehow. between the ostrichballs, noodlesprings and bubblybutterwater, that meal became the funniest thing in the world.

Uhoh, I just looked at the time and I'd better get ready for work!

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 01:43 PM | Pipe Up! (1)
January 23, 2005
snowgoddess blessings


and a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! to my dear sweet mama, Blackbird.


I took her to Queen Mary's for high tea. I think Sam has a new favorite restaurant-the land of crustless froo-froo sandwiches, scones, cookies, crumpets and jam.

I opted for the steak and kidney pie myself... A luscious bit of british cookery.


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 06:53 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
January 20, 2005
inuglification day

sitting in the lounge at work, watching a montage of teletubbies, reality TV and the inauguration day procession... I hesitate to call it a parade. It's so ominous looking, more like a funeral...

The massive police presence, car after car, flashing their lights, the lineup of security at the sides of the road, keeping the citizens back. The dark windowed limo. Not much celebration going on.

It looks more like the processional of a dictator than of the president of a democracy.

Every once in a while they show shots of the barricaded streets, where people are throwing snowballs at the security guards barring their way.

I wonder how they screened for who to let in? Card carrying members of the Young Republicans only?

Teletubbies. TV designed for kids who aren't even old enough to talk yet.

Therapy TV. Why would anybody want to watch people undergoing therapy on TV?

Commercials advertising wonderful, vibrant, youthful old age... Then cheerfully warning of the risk of dire side effects from the drugs they're promoting.

I wonder what it feels like to be proud of your country and the direction it is going in?

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 12:47 PM | Pipe Up! (2)
January 19, 2005
what I did at work tonight...


Oh, and half an hour of massage-whoopee!

Now I'm home bloggin' and painting a sexy painting while Jay serenades me with his guillotine...

Not a bad way to spend an evening all in all.


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 11:40 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
hooray for the pineapple express!

or whatever breath of warmth is bringing us this beautiful gentle warm wetness-it's practically balmy today!

It seems to be causing some craziness on the ave today yo-some dreadlocked fella is wandering about in the street yelling at the top of his lungs at all n' sundry: 'GO HOME! Get OUTTA my way you MUTHAF**KERS!!!'

Wish I could-nuthin' much happening here so far...

What's the deal with white folks and dreadlocks anyway?

It's like, one in a million that can pull it off with any kinda appeal, but they keep on tryin', looking all frusty, like something the tide washed up, or the cat drug in...

Just my opinion, of course.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 04:22 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
January 15, 2005
I may break, but I'll never shatter...

sing it, Meredith Brooks! she's rockin' me out lately.

Man I really gotta sleep tonight. I stayed up late last night wasting a ton of photopaper, figuring out how to print out pics of my paintings for the WOW show. The deadline was today...

I was wired from chi gong class-it's pretty intense and we haven't even got to the exercises. So far it's like meditation, if meditation was an aerobic exercise... We start with chanting the Chenrezi(bodhisattva of compassion)mantra, then all kindsa intensive breathing-in one nostril, out the other and 7 times, 7 times, 7 times....

It's a pretty effective way NOT to think.

The exercises/positions really get your energy moving. So much so that I couldn't sleep, even after I successfully printed out all ten goddess paintings-yay! I'm slowly learning the geeky ways of my new equipment.

Still, I managed to pry my ass outta bed this morning, make a nice steaming cuppa strong black tea... I'd even have gotten to class on time, if I hadn't forgotten the whole 15 minutes of scraping the ice off the car windows with my spatula thing...


Good class, Mmmmmm neck work... Next week we go under the trachea-oooooh! Didja know there's a muscle under there?

SO much driving today, to class, to the WOW office, to work, to shabbat... Crazy, I've never whipped around town so much before, leastways not under my own steam.

Sorry this is probably the most boring post ever, but I'm tired and lonely and I just need to blather on a bit.

I had a stressfest last week, car troubles, ex troubles, and a trip to the doctor that kinda freaked my shit out.

I've been menstruating every three weeks, bigtime heavy and waycrazyhormonal... The RNP thought it might be anemia and stress, until she felt around inside me-brr... cold glop... Hmmm... poke, prod... I knew that look couldn't be good.

Apparently, a wee skinny chick like me should have a uterus the size of a tangerine, mine, she explained, is more like a navel orange.

Fibroids, is the most likely diagnosis.

she went on the 'reassure' me that she's seen much worse-fruit again, women with grapefruits or even great big knobbly cantaloupes growing in their wombs.


Dazed, I went to my first chi gong class, and still not really processing, to my massage class the next morning. I musta looked kinda ghostly. Svadesh asked if I was OK and it all came stuttering out in a weepy burble. I'm glad there's just the three of us in class!

It was good that I got to talk about it a bit though, 'cause I was able to go get Sam at school, go shopping and bake a birthday cake and throw a birthday party for my dear boy without totally losing it.

I've got a week of research and assessment under my belt now and I know they aren't lifethreatening or anything and I don't necessarily have to have an hysterectomy. I've calmed down and the freaky facing sickness and mortality alone thing has subsided into a sort of smorgasboard of herbs and treatments to choose from.

My favorite prescription, from my accupuncturist friend at work: Sex-it really loosens the blocked chi in those areas.

HAH! Which pharmacy do I go to for that one?

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 01:32 AM | Pipe Up! (0)






Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 12:20 AM | Pipe Up! (2)
January 09, 2005


I couldn't wait for Sam to wake up and see this...


Snow in Seattle!!!


Sam's snowman


Sam's snowshell


Sam's snowball. Eeeeek!

Sam: We made a lot of stuff in the snow. Mama made a goddess, but you can't see it in this post, because there's another post that she's going to make that's about it.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 07:13 PM | Pipe Up! (2)
January 07, 2005
seven, it's a good number


Happy birthday to my boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 11:09 PM | Pipe Up! (2)
January 05, 2005
Sam builds the world






Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 11:42 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
Dakini woes

My poor car, she's been leaking, the front passenger floor is all wet.

New years eve, I set out for the hotsprings with some friends and she refused to start! Darn it. We went anyway, in Jess T's car, and when we came back she started up no problemo.


But then she tuckered out on me again.

SO I took her to the doctor. NOw she's got a shiney new alternator, and I'm $400 lighter.

And I still don't know where that leak is coming from.


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 08:10 PM | Pipe Up! (4)
sloooooooow night

just one massage tonight. A young man, sore from working UPS for the holidays. He'd never had massage before, he was cute and shy and couldn't let go of his arms when I held them.

He left smiling.

I love giving a person their first massage.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 08:00 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
Mountain dweller