The Palace of Loverzan Don't mess with the palace guardian.
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Enjoy your visit.
June 29, 2005


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 11:31 AM | Pipe Up! (0)
when love is madness

Sometimes(when you're bound and hanging over the viperpit),
there's nothing left to do but jump IN.

sink your feet firmly, take on the nasty, coiling death,
endure the striking fangs, the boiling venom injection,
burning corrosive reality into obdurate flesh.

When life defies love defies truth,
when there's no possibility left untried,
when everything that you are is insufficient,
it's madness to continue.

Drop your pants,
your pretenses,
your churning desires,
your fervent dreams,
your only weapon,
your stupid faith,
your fondest wish,
your booty rising,
your unfulfilled promises,
your cowardice, bitterness, blame, shame and most of all,
drop your last surviving hope.

stand bitten,

Stop your thrashing protestations.
There is no cure for this.
Burn her out.
The howling will cease in time,
smoke and echoes diminish,
leaving bare, dry charnal ground.

Nothing less will suffice.
There's no answer to this test,
nothing brilliant, or even merely witty, to say in the end,
to engage,
to hold,
no mercy given, no raw appeals to justice,
nothing to fulfill or withold,
Nothing to fix.

Nothing binds us here,
Nothing ruptured, bleeding, uncauterized.
nothing unconquered, no clumsy mortal aspirations to shoot down.

We came this far for nothing.
This far,
for striking snakes and burnt ashes.

We came this far, for battlefield carrion,
a charred corpse, beyond recognition.

We came for what?
Fireworks, madness, death, love, friendship?

Nothing less will suffice.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 04:20 AM | Pipe Up! (3)
June 23, 2005
sunny day, new shoes...

I got up early enough this morning to walk to work in the thin, pretty sunshine AND stop at the shoe store on the way.

My Merrels have served me well, but they're getting pretty solebare and my big ol' feetses are complaining.

As usual, it was hard to find anything to fit me-even the most 'rugged' womens shoes seem built for the fashion conscious, not at all for my wide, prehensile stompers, so I got me some mens New Balance joggers-they aren't the least bit dainty and they won't go with a dress, but I'd rather be comfortable than fancy any day and they seem to fit pretty well. I walked the rest of the way to work in 'em and made it in good time-well, almost, I was a teeny bit late to massage a ballerina(talk about sore feet! Poor girl).

I got most of my packing done last night, just need to cut some heads of lettuce when I get home, toss 'em in a bag and I'll be ready for Yoel(the artist formerly known as Yoni) to whisk me off to the Critical Massive nudie fest!


Should be an interesting test of my new sneakers, I've never hiked in JUST my shoes and socks before...

At least I won't have to think about whether they go with what I'm(not) wearing!


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 12:26 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
June 21, 2005
further developments of the solstice chair


Sam woke up raring to go on the solstice chair project, so we took it a little farther this morning... It's still got a ways to go, but I promised him I'd save it 'til he gets back after my long nudist weekend...

I'm grooving out, listening to a treasure trove of lovely, lovely Nina Simone... 'Funkier than a moskeeter's tweeter' is about the only song I can sing and actually think I sound good!


Thanks for the musical bounty, D

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 11:25 PM | Pipe Up! (1)
last week, on the table...

4 erections,
one dick pop-out,
a smack upside the cheek,
many compliments(non-erection related),

OK, so, as they teach us in school, erections are a natural physical occurence that sometimes happens during a massage due to the touch sensations... Right, OK, i understand... But four in one week? Whassup with that? Are the stars conjuncting in some preternatural prurient penis-heightening pattern?


I definately won't let a dude wearing boxers lay on top of the sheets again-whoa baby!

As to the smack... Well, it's not what you're thinking.

I was working on this fella, he was joking about his ex who was in massage school and how she'd torture him, going for the DEEP muscles... I said 'oh, like the psoas?' and(professional faux pas) moved my hands as if about to approach his bellyWHACK! his arm leaped up in automatic defense and smacked me across the cheek!

No harm done, but I don't think I'll make that joke again!

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 11:08 PM | Pipe Up! (2)
carnivore heaven

is a big, fat, sizzlin' lambchop, smothered in black beluga lentils, with a ripe avocado sliced over the top and a side of Nubian goatmilk yogurt...


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 10:50 PM | Pipe Up! (2)

...for a festival camping trip at a nudist resort sure lightens the list!

let's see...

sleeping bag,
'skeeter repellent,
sketchbook(ooooooh-nudies everywhere!)
lots of sunblock...

and not much else!


I'm getting excited... I've heard an awful lot about Critical Massive and it all sounds like, um, massive fun.

Sun, lake, music, art and the freedom to be naked and hang out with a bunch of beautiful nudies all weekend... What's not to love?

Just a few more days of work and I'm off to play, yay!

With any luck, I'll come back with an all-over tan(as opposed to an all-over burn-yikes!)

Speaking of burns... sure saw some interesting ones on the folks who forgot the sunscreen when they got painted for the Fremont Fair!-Nice infinity symbol, Danni, but I don't remember painting it in red!


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 10:45 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
June 20, 2005
the solstice chair

Sam and I had a little private ritual this evening to celebrate the Summer Solstice.

Behold the Solstice Chair, stage one:


It was a messy ritual,


Sam didn't mind too much though...


In fact, he seemed pretty proud of his painted foot!


Happy Solstice everyone!

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 11:05 PM | Pipe Up! (2)
vampires beware...


We had a garlic harvest brunch today... It was the perfect, brilliant, hot, sunny day for it and we feasted and pulled up the lovely fat heads and braided the tough, supple stems together and now our basement boasts pungent, purplish clusters, just begging to be roasted to succulence.


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 12:16 AM | Pipe Up! (0)
June 19, 2005
all the pretty nudies!

The Fremont Fair Solstice parade has become famous for it's naked bikery and this year I got involved! I didn't actually get naked and bike myself, but three people wore my paint...


There's nothing quite like a morning spent with a hundred wildly creative naked people painting each other...


There were tinmen,


and the incredibles were there.


But I loved my gorgeous goddesses best of all!

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 11:42 PM | Pipe Up! (1)
June 12, 2005
splish, splash, splazzt!


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 04:20 PM | Pipe Up! (3)
June 08, 2005

I gotta go give my last massage of the day in a minute here... Then I get to go home and crash(well, I might consume some MEAT first, but then I'm definately going to crash!).

Sam's wretched, phlegmy deathrattle of a cough graduated into a mutha of an earache last night and so I spent my night alternately trying to sleep, comforting the wailing kidlet and reassuring him that he wasn't going to die, or even going to lose his ear.

Zorks, I'm tired. Hope I don't fall asleep on my fourth and final client of the night.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 08:01 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
comic book hero

I was browsing a comic book store with Sam a few days ago... Well, really there wasn't much browsing going on, he was deep in the Usagi section and I was buried in Strangers in Paradise-LOVE that Katchoo kicksmanbuttaction!

But on our way out, Sam went all google-eyed over the giant COMPLETE edition of Bone($40!)... We were enthusiastically discussing the goodness of Bone with thw guy at the counter, when outta the blue, this other customer in the store says:

'That's the sort of thing a kid would treasure, huh?' And then, to my shocked delight, he bought it, gave it to us and left.

Thanks, stranger Walt, for that random act of comicbook kindness. You really have no idea how many hours will be spent reading and rereading that humonguous, hilarious tome.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 07:55 PM | Pipe Up! (1)
June 05, 2005
slug, dirt and kitty prickle-butt-stick salad

as soon as Sam stops exploding we are going to go outside and harvest some salad for dinner.

I tried to tie his blasterfingers together with a nice long hair after my not so deft but extremely vociferous(tang! tching! tang, tang, RYAAAAAH!!-yes, we've been reading a lot of Usagi Yojimbo lately, in fact I'm now an authority on death rattles provoked by a swordslit to the gullet) samurai sword defense strategy failed, but somehow my clever plan went astray and he kept shooting at me with those darn ballistic fingers anyway.

Maybe I should just sit on him. That usually works.

We'd better get out there before it gets too dark to see, or we won't be eating lettuce, spinach and radishes in our salad...


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 06:27 PM | Pipe Up! (2)
June 02, 2005
here's to itching, the mother of invention

I was working on a clients ankle the other day, when my wrist developed a horrendous itch, right on the boney protrusion on the ulnar side(side the pinky is on).

So I scratched it, thoroughly-with the ankle! And la voila, it was the perfect tool for working between the heel and the malleolus(ankle bulge)... I think I'll use that technique from now on... Wrists and ankles go so well together.

Maybe I'll call it the Itch-fulfilling stroke...

hee... Don't tell nobody, 'k?

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 01:39 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
Mountain dweller