The Palace of Loverzan Don't mess with the palace guardian.
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Enjoy your visit.
July 28, 2005
critical ass

I wanted to put this in my Critical Massive post, but I had to make sure Lulubelle the Klown didn't mind.

She didn't, said she was proud to display Kitty's artwork...

But if you have any objection to an exquisitely spanked ass, by all means avert thine eyes, and please don't click to embiggen:

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 04:49 PM | Pipe Up! (1)
July 25, 2005
i wish i could show you...

...all the beautiful pictures we took this weekend.

Unfortunately, in a particularly egregious and frustrating display of EBCAK, I deleted all 42 of them, instead of just the 1 that I meant to.

You shoulda heard me HOWL last night when I realised it... I was so tired from the long drive home, I wish I'd just waited til today.


I guess the pretty memories of fires and roasting hotdogs, marshmallows and toes will have to stay in our heads. Along with the wrestling in the tent and the chillin' in the waterfall and excavating HUGE rocks from the river bank to tumble into the Stillaguamish...

Anyway, Sam and I went camping. Just the two of us.

Remarkable how much more companionable a 7 year old is than, say, a 4 year old...

He'd complained that he never got enough of Big Four Ice Caves, so I figured a camping trip was in order.

We staked out a pretty, mossy site at the Verlot campground, set up camp, played by the river and had a blast building our fire and roasting things(oh the sadness of the missing pretty pics!)...

Nice to snuggle up in the tent and read, just me n the boy.

In the morning, we packed it all up and headed out to Big Four. We stayed up there all day, playing in the waterfall 'til Sam was good and ready to head back down and hit the river.

I scrambled over the edge of the bridge, using the undersupports as a stepstair, and then helped Sam through(he only has a little scrape on one leg to show for it-well, he says: "A LITTLE scrape? I think it's BIG!" from his wiggly audience on my lap).

Be that as it may, we loved our river afternoon... The Stillaguamish is gorgeous , wide, and swift and COLD. My favorite kind of river, with long banks of beautiful, smooth tumbled rocks... Perfect for building towers.

It was HOT, so I couldn't resist jumping in, with all my clothes on. Yes, I screamed... The people on the bridge clapped, some even climbed down, but couldn't bring themselves to jump in, so I felt all polar and brave.


Meanwhile, Sam was engrossed in one of his famous excavation projects. He was digging the biggest(headsized and bigger) rocks free of the bank and toppling them into the river...

Rocks + water = SPLASH!!!

Oh for the beautiful splashes I captured... All deleted to nothing.

Just then a cloud went over the sun and I began to shiver, plus I was thinking a bit nervously of the long multiple-freeway drive home(for those of you who don't know, this is my first year as a driver and this trip my longest yet)...

So, when Sam had finished his works, we climbed back up onto the bridge and we hit the road.

It was a smooth trip.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 12:54 PM | Pipe Up! (1)
July 22, 2005
waterfall rorschach


my amazing mama made this beautiful artwork out of my picture of Sam at Big Four Ice Caves.

Only she could have found the portal to the realm of the Birdgoddess.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 12:40 PM | Pipe Up! (1)
July 18, 2005
safety tip #080767: remember to pillage before you burn

OK, I'm sure my hordes of shrieking fans(or at least the few, loyal readers out there who actually listen to me blather on, whilst hanging in for the art and nude girls) can't wait any a minute longer for my Critical Massive post, so here goes!

It was a Burning Man fundraiser, so the sights were truly amazing.

Unfortunately I was too busy gawkinggapejawed at night to capture the true glory of the spectacle on film for y'all-the FIRE!-and oh my god do I mean fire, fire, fire!

The artworks are GIGANTIC, and either on fire, or magnificent with electricity and pulsating video flashes... There's an immense sculpture like the open hand of a dragon, with the claws pointing upwards and if you wait a while-it shoots fire from all of them-huge staccato bursts that scare the living piss out of you.

There's a tub of water with a fire burning in the middle, flames bursting right out of the water... Another has sand, on fire-blue fire... Which you can rake into patterns...

Everything is mesmerizing, even if you're not on drugs.


Everyone is either in outrageous costumes, or happily naked. Nakedly hooping, dancing, kissing-oh, so much kissing happened that weekend!, cooking, eating...

My camp had a wine and cheese event that brought everyone out-it was mad, mad fun being surrounded by so many wonderful freaks free to be their freakiest.

And just being free to stroll about nude, that rocks my socks off!


I got commandeered for a body painting workshop:


and happily fulfilled a buddha request:


The leader even asked me to join their Burning Man camp, and man, I wish I could!

I fell in love with the fire dancers with their amazing lithe bodies and freaky, beautiful flame-wielding skills. They had this incredible performance where they fought the tentacled lake demons(who actually came swimming up out of the dark lake waving horrible multi-tentacled arms-and were blasted by the firegoddess with her flame-shooting lance and her fire winged cohorts...


I lounged in a heap of friends and other friendly bodies in one of the enormous geodesic domes and gaped in awe as the sexiest couple in the entire galaxy gave us an aerial performance to rival Circ de Soleil.

I fell in love with them too.

I have to say, hanging around camp with your titties hanging out is just lovely(if only you could just hear that said by the lovely english lady who enchanted us all with her accent and her fine vodka-not to mention won my heart by playing my new favorite Ani Difranco album as we struck camp, you'd understand what I mean).


We hiked down to the waterfall and swam in the pink lily beclad lake. Camp Bronson is pretty special all by itself. I'll have to go be nude there again, festival or not.


I learned what a 'shirtcocker' is and watched a whole jubilant parade of them, known as Critical Dick... I missed the prize-giving end of it, but saw the hilarious and eye-opening beginning, where they ornamented themselves(have you ever seen a tentfull of cocks with pipecleaner bows and hearts on before?) and heard the inspirational speech given by the fearless leader-and I mean fearless, as he leapt up, to dangle(and I mean dangle, too :) ) from the geodesic pole above our heads and proceeded to fire us up about the joy of shirt-cocking and all.

There was an inspirational chant too, but damned if it hasn't gone out of my head...

All in all, it was a grand, surreal, wild weekend.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 06:23 PM | Pipe Up! (2)
hot sunny glacier?

Big Four Ice caves is a bit of a drive, but sooooo worth it.

It's an easy, pretty hike,


By the time you're dyin' of heat, the breeze off the ice hits you like the cool breath of a benevolent god.


The falls are gorgeous too, but watch out for Rockboy!


We had a lovely time. Next time I think we'll camp so we can stay all day and play. Sam had a stream daylighting project going on that he could prolly heave rocks for for another five hours or so and there's a pretty stream with my name on it- I almost jumped in with all my clothes on!

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 05:26 PM | Pipe Up! (1)
July 17, 2005
solstice chair completion.


I finally finished the art project we started on the solstice. It looks appropriately glorious in the summer sunshine, but you can't really make out the goddess, so here's a detail...


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 07:18 PM | Pipe Up! (2)
nothing is permitted

A young wife in the confessional box asked the priest about contraceptives. "You must not use them," said the priest. "They are against God's law. Take a glass of water."

"Before, or after?" asked the wife.

"Instead." replied the priest.

from 'love, freedom, aloneness', Osho.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 12:21 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
'when i say you've sucked my brain out!...

...the english translation, is I am in love with you.'

Ani Difranco rocks my world!

Music is really helping me out lately. Thanks to the library, and friends, I've got some amazing new albums to shake my thang all over the place.

Right now, a mix of Ani, Michael Franti, Outkast and Jonatha Brooke is doin' me right.

Franti's album says it all:

Everyone deserves music!

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 12:13 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
July 16, 2005
the mutha of all lettuce


can I grow 'em or what?


Sam and I planted the old garlic bed today(shown behind me-if you can see past the humongo head of redleaf), a selection of greens and fleurs for fall... The broccoli and lettuce have gone to flower too, more space to replant. Luckily Sam loves to pull the old plants out,with a dirt-scattering flourish that I'm trying to get him to curb, or at least aim AWAY from the remaining foodplants.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 06:08 PM | Pipe Up! (8)
July 15, 2005

Man has reduced woman into a slave and woman has reduced man into a slave. and of course both hate the slavery, both resist it. They are constantly fighting; any small excuse and the fight starts.

But the real fight is somewhere deep down; the real fight is that they are asking for freedom. They cannot say it so clearly, they may have forgotten it completely. For thousands of years this is the way people have lived. They have seen that their father and their mother lived the same way, they have seen that their grandparents have lived in the same way. This is the way that people live-they have accepted it. Their freedom is destroyed.

It is as if we were trying to fly in the sky with one wing. A few people have the wing of love and a few people have the wing of freedom-both are incapable of flying. Both wings are needed.

Osho, 'love, freedom, aloneness'

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 12:11 PM | Pipe Up! (1)
July 13, 2005

man I'm tired and sore.

It was a full shift tonight. I started with a woman, eight months pregnant, then several chunky dudes.... Urk. Then ended the night with a post natal massage.

It was pretty fun, I love 'ssaging babyful bellies, and the sweet, tired, happy, new mama had the foresight to bring pads, so she didn't leak on the table!


But something's haywire with my body mechanics lately, My lunge is off kilter somehow and my lower back is paying the price for my wonky, swaggering hip...

wah, not an auspicious way to start my work week.

I think I'll take an ice pack to bed, along with my new(yay!) books. Hmmm... Dharma, or fantasy?

Choices, choices...

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 10:07 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
just don't cut my ears, OK?

Sam's request. His long scruff finally got to him, what with the impromptu gum-inspired trim earlier this week and continously chewing on it(which, ironically is why we got the gum in the first place) and it getting in his eyes...

So this morning, he went from this:


to this:


breaks a mamas heart it does, the cute wee braids...


This is my favorite pic:


Not too bad, considering it's the first time I've cut his hair in over a year...

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 01:37 PM | Pipe Up! (3)
July 12, 2005
searching, searching, searching, finding!

Sam and I have a had a sweet few days, searching bookstores, building lego star destroyers, wandering beaches, throwing skipping stones and eating the first few slightly sour, but ripe enough to tempt, blackberries of the summer.

We've been looking for 'The Farthest Shore' and looking, and looking...

One bookstore employee explained the lack-apparently they made a TV movie of Earthsea and there's been a run on the books.

Nuts on my bad timing-what not watching TV gets you, I guess.

But finally yesterday, a trip to Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park yielded a nice old, used copy. They had the new ones there too, but if that foppish-looking actor on the cover is supposed to be my Sparrowhawk-bah, they can go suck an egg with their miniseries!


While we were up there we also took advantage of the King County Library. Soon, so soon, we will be in possession of another long sought after item-Space Usagi!

We've read every Usagi we could get our hot little hands on, but there seems to be nary a copy of Space Usagi in the Seattle library system.

It's a good week for persistant bookworms.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 01:28 PM | Pipe Up! (2)
killing things that won't die

I think I've been reading too much fantasy, or watching too much Star Trek(Sam's kinda on a binge).

Last night I fought a monster that just wouldn't die.

I'd just gotten back from some heroic endeavor with my crew, only to discover our little corner of the universe had been sorcerously usurped by this devilish froglike alien. In the process of 'trading', supposedly supplying my people with foodstuffs, he had taken control of their minds with this bizarre radiant power.

Skeptically, I watched it happen... He raised his arms, cloak trailing from them like the raised wings of an angel and light blazed brilliant from him. A godlike, if frogsome, image. I saw my people bring their treasures and food and lay them before him in worshipful abandon.


So I dispatched my crew to safeguard the bedazzled community and slipped into the portal.

My blaster, aimed dead on his chest, on full blast'emtocinders setting, did little good. He sort of croaked a bit, but retained a superior smile as my laser beam sputtered away... I flipped it around, turning the nozzle to a handle, pressed a button and SHHHLZZT! Out slashed a five inch blade. I proceeded to stab him again and again, his infuriating smile telling me that I had yet to pierce a really valuable part of his amphibian anatomy, though he was bleeding all over.

I realised somewhere in the bloody, jabbing, ichor-spurting mess that I'd lost control, that somehow the creature had hold of my mind and I couldn't trust what I was seeing, feeling, hearing...

I closed my eyes.

I brought the knife down in a final blow and felt him crumple, hollow.

It felt good to wake up.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 01:07 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
i am such a dork

Sam and I were driving the other day, enjoying some new tapes I'd scored at a yard sale.

I'm all:

'Wow, this is cool, she sounds just like Bjork!'

One moment, my vestigial musical neurons beg, slowly firing, percolating info in the back of my brain... Does the name Sugarcubes ring a rather bjork-toned bell?



It is nice to have some new tunes for the car-Sugarcubes, Indigo Girls, Sade, Cocteau Twins and Cowboy Junkies... A whole new collection for only 25 cents apiece!

Yay music!

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 12:42 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
July 10, 2005
favorite new words

I just finished reading/rereading some good books and reaped some excellent new words to play with. They've been jangling about in my head all week.

Marked by blithe unconcern; nonchalant.
[French : in-, not (from Old French. See in-1) + souciant, present participle of soucier, to trouble (from Old French, from Vulgar Latin *sollictre, alteration of Latin sollicitre, to vex. See solicit).]

Mournful, dismal, or gloomy, especially to an exaggerated or ludicrous degree.
[From Latin lgubris, from lgre, to mourn.]

1 : of, relating to, or resembling twilight
2 : active in the twilight

Sigh... I love writers who can use humongous words without impairing the juicy flow of their writing.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 05:58 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
July 08, 2005
"the question is always the same, with a dragon:


Will he talk with you, or will he eat you? If you can count on his doing the former, and not doing the latter, why then you are a dragonlord."

I love Ursula Leguin.


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 10:38 PM | Pipe Up! (2)
July 07, 2005
to oil or not to oil

A client this morning requested no oil, no swedish massage... A fairly unusual request, most of my clients either love swedish or love deep tissue.

She was a retired massage therapist, so I knew I had to do a good job-not that I'd do less than that for anyone else, but it's a lot easier to look like an expert/miracle worker with folks who don't know their gastrocnemius from their infraspinatus.

Her neck was her primary complaint and she wanted me to work on it 'til it was 'done' so I took a deep breath, took her head in my hands and just let my worries(oh my god, how am I gonna spend a whole hour here?) go. My hands sort of went on automatic. It was quite a shock to look up from her nicely melting neck and see half an hour had passed already. Time to flip over and do my favorite shoulder thing. She loved it.

Kudos from a fellow therapist are always extra sweet.

Then, a treat for me! First the sauna. Then:

I got a massage from one of my favorite fellow practitioners. He amazes me. It's like an opera or something. Tons of oil(actually creme, but he heats it and it feels sooo much like oil) and lots of lomi(Hawaiian massage)like strokes-swift, smooth, powerful, delightful, tender strokes... Lots of powerhouse forearm and elbow friction...

I affectionately nicknamed him Meathook('cause of this scapula-raising move wherein I feel much like a hanging carcass), but, man, meat never had it so good!

He does this thing where he about sweeps you off the table with the stretching(arm-all ways), then sweeps you back on again by pulling your legs. Just when you think you will surely hit the floor in two vivisected sections, there you are happily deposited and nestled back into the comfy table. Even his draping is dramatic, like a magician pulling a tablecloth out from under the champagne brunch-only you're the brunch!

My obturators(deep butt muscles) were screaming. I had no idea they were screaming until he found them... Oh my god. Poor neglected babies. Well, they certainly got heard today.


Between the pain(though somehow he manages to walk the threshold between pleasure and pain-skillfully remaining in the 'sweet' zone) and the giggles, it was a splendid way to end my work day.

Then I walked on home, with a slight detour since Ravenna park's main path was fenced off and closed. Construction, judging by the giant excavator parked smack in the middle of the poor flattened hedge on the other side of the park.

I was going to attack my bigass pile of paper work, since I don't have chi gong tonight(my teacher is in Puerto Rico for three weeks)... But I think I'll procrastinate and sprawl on my pretty purple bed like a queen, read and drink tea 'til the cows come home.

Which reminds me, I gotta get 'The Farthest Shore'. Sam and I are reading Le Guin's Earthsea trilogy(well, quadrilogy now, I guess) and we made short work of the first two.

Sigh... I love that series.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 08:42 PM | Pipe Up! (2)
bumpersticker on the walk home today


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 08:03 PM | Pipe Up! (1)
July 06, 2005
lettuce madness!


watch out-it may be catching...

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 11:10 PM | Pipe Up! (2)

man I just had the most pleasurable experience... Just me, myself and a big, fat avocado-piled lamburger on my bed-yes I got grease all over my purty dress, but man oh man, was it worth it!!

I love meat.

And avocadoes, yeah baby, those succulent, plump, delicious, creamy little bastidges, love 'em, love 'em, love 'em!

Sigh... The only thing lacking is my precious peppers, PCC let me down yesterday, no little clear plastic cartons of wee sweet redyellowandorange absofockingtively degoddamnliscious peppers!

Oh lord tell me they're not gone for the season. I'll die, I swear(as if there wasn't enough swearing already in this post)!

OK... Now I have to go make sure I haven't burnt my p'au d'arco all to shite.

YES! God is good(watching out for my absent-mindedly blogging ass), my nice big mug of p'au d'arco tea is happily steaming beside me... I'll keep my fingers crossed on the pepper tip. God's a busy deity, ya know.

Now where was I?

Absolutely nowhere, you say?

Right, well, to keep the nowhere ball rolling merrily along then, my toenails are still striped purple and silver from Critical Massive(I haven't posted about that insane weekend yet, have I? Hmmph, I'll have to rectify that), though they're starting to get 'roots' now.

Saw some spectacular fireworks monday night-nuthin' quite as American as gigantic, deafening explosions and giant clouds of pollution. Unfortunately I didn't have Sam with me... He loves explosions.

Went for a hair-raising motorcycle ride on the way there, wearing a bike helmet! I don't recommend it-although it was better after Josh gave me his sunglasses, so I could actually open my eyes.


Death always feels so exhilaratingly immanent on those things.

Oh and I got a pretty sweet compliment on my last massage tonight. She melted pretty good under my fingers and at the end, she half sat up(which is no easy feat when face down on a massage table and looked at me and said:

'That was phenomenal-the best massage I've had in years!'

Gonna file that one away with 'Magic!' from the beaming fella last week who came in for another after receiving his first massage ever from me the week before-love those repeat customers...

Stuff like that makes me feel like I'm doing the right thing. Sorta keeps me going in this up and down biz-it's certainly not for the money!

I had a few massages last week that didn't go so well. Nothing really went wrong, but just didn't really click into that sweet massage zone and didn't feel like I'd given them what they came for.

Win some, lose some, I guess.

Alright, I think I'm done boasting and rambling about random food turn ons...

Hmmm... What do I have that I can dunk in my tea?

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 10:33 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
July 05, 2005
sweet music

Saturday, I took my son Sam out for burritos and music.

It was fun, even if they did have the ignorant temerity to melt cheese all over the outside of his 'rrito(he generally likes things plain as plain)...

After dinner we went for dessert at Trabant Chai house and I drank half of my WAYtoodamnsweet chai, Sam happily munched down a gigantic chocolate chip cookie and we listened to the very sweet songs of this lovely woman:


Whose brand new debut cd will soon be available at

Hurray for Johanna! Thanks for sharing the love.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 07:25 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
July 04, 2005
a sunny, 4th of July afternoon's bodypainting.


My friend Michael painted me today... We started out with my original inspiration of a tree on fire, but after many coats and recoats, it wasn't really happening for him, so we started just messing around with the paint.


It was a lovely way to spend the afternoon. I drove on the freeway for the first time ever! to get there and I finally got to feel the other end of bodypainting-kind of goes on cold, and rather tickley in those... um... more sensitive, places, plus, it cracks and catches as it sets up a bit, but it's really fun to watch your transformation.

I painted my own hand and arm, which was cool, although we had to do a bit o' dodgenpaint, since he was painting my bod at the same time!

I'm looking forward to the next session, when we take another crack at the treefiregoddess collaboration.

Maybe I'll actually have all the paint off by then... It's kind of fascinating the way the thick sections just peel off like alloverstretchystickywetlycra bandages, but two showers and a whole lotta scrubbing later, there's still bits stuck to my bits.

Paint + hair = mess, go figure.


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 06:54 PM | Pipe Up! (4)
July 03, 2005
bubbles in the sun




photos by Sam.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 02:13 PM | Pipe Up! (1)
July 02, 2005
hurray, siverclay!

got my new kiln today, many little silver goddesses are on the way!


well, soon's i learn how to use the purty little blue thing...

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 01:51 PM | Pipe Up! (2)
Mountain dweller