The Palace of Loverzan Don't mess with the palace guardian.
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Enjoy your visit.
August 31, 2005


Sam took this pretty picture while we were camping last weekend. Should I beat my chest and howl, or merely swing from a vine with a knife in my teeth?

Now he's off camping with his dad, but the sweet boy was really bummed that he couldn't stay and help move.

Good to have a boy like that.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 10:01 PM | Pipe Up! (2)

remind me never, ever to paint rooms again! Especially while moving...

It may take me a bit to get my 'puter up an running at the new place-need a wireless router-so I figured I'd betta squeeze out a coupla posts while I'm still hooked up.


I had wierd nightmares all night, when I was actually sleeping that is! Not used to being on the floor in a near empty house... It's kinda lonely and skeery, plus I'm just so stressedtothemax-it all sort of imploded on me today when I ran out of time to paint the trim(and still only the first coat!) before work today, I busted into tears and howled thru my paint removing shower.

It made me feel a little better and here I am, four massages and one half-price, quickly devoured, pulled pork sandwich later, ready to pack all night, or at least 'til my boxes run out-the grocery stores weren't very forthcoming with 'em tonight.

Three stores, no boxes. Whassup widdat? Don't they know I'm moving?


I guess the early worm gets the box and I'm 'bout the latest wormgirl in town.

Alright then, 'nuff moaning, time for some rockin' packin' tunes.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 09:57 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
August 30, 2005
i'm exhaustipated

Been painting, scraping, packing and moving since 10 am...

A multitude of love and thanks to my awesome moving crew, Maris, Josh, BB and John for their strong backs, capacious trucks and generosity-you guys rock!

And to Heather, my new roomie, we just met and the wonderful woman spent her whole day shoulder to shoulder with me taping and painting Sam's and my new bedrooms green... Rockin' out to the tune of the Beastie boys, no less.

What a sweet one she is! I think we are going to get along just fine. She's very direct, smart and funny.

Tomorrow, the shocking purple trim!

And now, to bed in a nigh empty house, just my 'puter, my mattress and I-well, and assorted clumps of junk, a spider or two wondering what the heck happened to their nice bookshelf homesites and about a million prosperous dustbunnies.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 11:09 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
August 29, 2005

my arm is protesting, says stripping paint from a recalcitrant door is not the proper line of work for a massage therapists shoulder girdle.

p'raps so, but this particular LMP needs to paint her new rooms!

it's always so exciting at first, when the big strips of paint just peel miraculously, easybreezy, from the doorframe... then, somewhere along the line, you hit a stubborn spot, and then another and another, clinging for dear life to the ol' green primer beneath.

it ain't purty.

i was hoping to get the painting done tomorrow, in time for moving day, but it's looking like i'll be stripping for awhile.

glorp and botheration.

oh well, at least I'm not nine months preggers, like the last time I hadta paint a bedroom-now that was an awkward, urgent frustication for ya!

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 11:15 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
camping in the midst of the revelry

Sam and I managed to have a really sweet camping trip, just the two of us, somehow, in the middle of the festival weekend...

We were the only dragon crew who stayed overnite. Sam proved an excellent gofer, tentpole clicker and a very enthusiastic firemaking assistant.

Ah, fire!


So much of the joy of camping, for me at least, is in the FIRE! Love building the teepee of wood and paper, lighting it, tending it, revelling in the blaze, the heat, gazing into the glowing heart of it, the embers... Feeding it, cooking in it, burning leaves and pinecones and marshmallows... Singing around it, wrapping your arms around a loved one in the silent communion of primal, live-giving flames.

'Course, Sam mostly enjoyed burning stuff-and eating the s'mores.


Then a small, sweet ritual of letting it burn down, carrying water in cups and bowls to pliff! sizzle and steam the remaining coal glow into safe, wet ashes.

Then toothbrush and tent,


to read our bedtime story, Neotopia.


Our latest library score-a new favorite graphic series.

It was a good weekend, but now I gots to face the facts and pack and pack and pack!

This time next week I will be living in a different home.

Wish I had a transporter, or like five big strong mens(four to lift and carry boxes and furniture and one to lift my spirits and carry me!)

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 03:59 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
art, nature, what more could you want?

I spent my weekend at the Arts In Nature festival at Camp Long in West Seattle.

The forest were rockin', with music, aerial dancers...


Leilavision's amazing, hilarious, beautiful musical interludes,


a wandering giant yak,


and cabins full of dragons...


master-minded by my gloriously creative mother, Blackbird.


There really was so much going on, it was hard to take it all in... I just decided to wander around most of the time and take in whatever was happening wherever I ended up.

Sam and I had a great time camping, but that's another post...

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 03:32 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
August 26, 2005
fine, I'll take my boobies and go!

Our administrator at work is such a nice lady. She called me on the lounge phone(where I'm currently entertaining Sam betwixt massages) to politely ask me to remove my artwork...

It's 'too edgy' she said.

Sigh... I thought this might happen. Nudity, even perfectly artistic nudity, is just too risque for a massage studio nowadays. Alright, then mah boobies are coming home, where they'll be appreciated and, entirely appropriate.


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 06:56 PM | Pipe Up! (2)
August 21, 2005
movies on the floor...

Becca's all moved out, along with her couch, so I hauled Sam's bunk mattress up here and we're watching movies from ground level.

It's actually kinda fun, in the half-empty house, with boxes around us and a barrel of popcorn...

It's been a movie marathon lately, since I'm a bit sick. Too much stress with all the house-hunting and packing and all, I guess... I did manage to hang my show at work and, as you can see from my three previous posts, the artistic juices are flowing strong! Odd, how that seems to occur at times of major transitions. Must be something about the power of flux.

At the moment, we're rocketting thru a stack of 'young' Indiana Jones movies from the good ol' library.

I have to put up with the dopey, tho cute in a too innocent sort of way, looks of Flanery instead of my man Harrison, but the big budget and authentic locations make it... Well, not too difficult to endure and Sam's having a blast, so I'm happy to lay around moanfully and eat pomsicles.

Oh, we finally found a new place!

It's a rockin' pad. Sam'll have his own room-above ground, no less!-and there's all kindsa space for art and veggies...

Our new roomie seems nice and I'm totally looking forward to having an entire garage art studio!

Whoohoo! Seems like YEARS since I had that much space. Can't wait to get my hands back into the clay...

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 06:56 PM | Pipe Up! (2)


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 06:36 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
flyin' away


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 06:34 PM | Pipe Up! (0)


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 06:32 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
August 15, 2005
dragon #2


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 06:41 PM | Pipe Up! (2)
my thumb is numb.

the hazards of dragon-making.

I cut out another dragon last night and it was TOUGH. Afterwards my thumb felt like it had had a root canal.

It's still numb this morning.

That can't be good.

Next time, I'm using paper.


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 12:20 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
August 14, 2005
oh, Ani.

I just found out the horrible news that she cancelled her touring due to severe tendonitis.

All the love and gratitude in my heart goes out to the courageous folksinger today. Her songs have comforted me and fired me up and inspired me and made me weep so often lately...

I can't even express how profoundly I'm touched by her art.

I dedicate the merit of my own art to the swift healing of her hardworking wrists.


I've never met you, Ani, but I love you right along with the rest of the millions of your fans.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 12:46 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
August 13, 2005
'almost certain death,

small chance of success... what are we waiting for?'

Remember who said that?

Sam and I watched 'Return of the King' tonight. It's kind of cool now that he has seen a lot more movies... not so scaredy, though he still gets a little closer to me when the really gruesome parts come up.

I think I'm getting old though. My memory capacitors aren't what they used to be. I couldn't for the life of me recall the names of the Orks who captured Frodo after Shelob wrapped him up... Sam's are shiney and new, however, even after many, many months since we read the books, it didn't take him long to come up with them.

Gorbag and Shagrat.

Of course.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 10:58 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
August 12, 2005
iron girl

Actually lots of iron girls... and I'm gonna be massaging them tomorrow morning.

It's WAY too early to be up on a saturday, but hey, I need some dough and I'm thinking it just might be fun, too.

Hmmm... Guess i'd better dose myself with some sleepy tea and get to bed sooner than later, 7 am's gonna be here too damn quick.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 10:24 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
gawdamn i'm gonna be glad to be outta here!

The landlady's beeatch of a daughter-in-law just sent us a detailed letter with pics, no less, of how she wants us to weed and prune every damn shrub on the property!

It's mowed, OK? Not to mention the fabulous garden I put in.

She just wants to keep as much of Rebecca's deposit as she can get her greedy little hands on.

I was going to sell her my fridge, but I bet she'll offset the price by claiming that we didn't trim and landscape to her satisfaction. I think I'll just take it with me. It's always nice to have an extra fridge in the garage for beer or something...


I'm so outta here.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 10:19 PM | Pipe Up! (0)

Can't believe i'm moving again.

My friend and soon-to-be-exhousemate, Rebecca says when she moves into a place, she pictures it empty, pictures herself moving out already.

Seems a bit bleak, always ready to move on...

I'm packing music and books into boxes. I'm taking my garden tools, my pots and pans, my massage table, my paints and my new kiln.

I'm talking with a friend whose soon-to-be exwife is threatening him with dire consequences for changing... The lives of their two girls hanging precariously in the gulf between them.

Ani is singing Buildings and Bridges: 'we are made to bleed and scab and heal and bleed again, and turn every scar into a joke. We are made to fight and fuck and fight again, and sit around and laugh until we choke.'

I love that woman, she pulls no punches, sings it raw.

Life changes, love changes, people change, they grow, they make choices, they break free, break promises, break down, die... Hardly ever stop to enjoy where they are.

Here I am, packing my stuff again.

Keep this, let go of that...

Ani, sing it girl, sing me Callous:

'You can't will yourself happy,
you can't will your cunt wet.
You can't keep standing at the station,
pretending your being met.
you can't wear a sign that says 'yours'
when that ain't what you get.'

So it goes.

Maybe if I keep on meeting myself at the station, I'll eventually just go home with myself?

Sounds pretty good tonight... I kinda just want to curl up amidst my boxes, in my big ol' bed, just me and a book.

But I gotta go give some 'ssage.

Yeeps. I'd better quit my maundering and go!

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 02:18 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
dragon #1


The first of three that Sam and I are making for my mother Blackbird's festival performance this summer at Camp Long.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 12:54 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
August 11, 2005
splurging on pettability

I felt as grey as the sky today... heavy, unbearably swollen with floods and torrents, but unable to loose more than a sullen, warmish drop or two.

It seemed constipated like that all day yesterday too- I almost wanted to scream out the window of our lounge at work(which wouldn't have raised an eyebrow, considering all the screaming that goes on out there):


But I shut my mouth, containing all the witless, worthless, wandering words that spun and spun and spun therein... Anthropomorphising and berating the entire sky wasn't going to help.

Some moods just have to gather and gather and gather until they break themselves on their own bleakness.

It's odd, I can give massage, really good massage, when I'm in such a raw headspace. Somehow, I fall into the zone and it comes from my hands, not from my head... I'm totally present, but it's almost like watching myself do the work. It's kind of cool.

I even made an unprecedented $50 in tips today-WHOOHHOOO!-needless to say, I hit Buffalo Exchange on the way home.

Nothing soothes ruffled brainfeathers like sexy new clothes.


I scored the most pettable, fluffy, golden shirt ever known to womankind(which is saying something, considering my wardrobe is rather keyed to pettability factors)...

I promptly wore it to chi gong class tonight, with excellent results.

Chi gong rules! Especially when everyone in class pets you.


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 11:46 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
go buy my frogs!

The Sidecar(purveyor of fine vegan delicacies, cute vegan clothing and stout-hearted champion of animal rights) is now selling my froggies!



Oh, and should you get there too late, and they've all sold out(hey, frogs are hot. man!), you can always come to the U district Artwalk. New Seattle Massage will be serving up some goodies and displaying the fabulous paintings of our talented chief of receptionists, Carolina and yours truly.


No, I didn't design the luvly, lurid card, though I did design the one that will come out in December...

But you'll have to wait a few months to see.


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 11:13 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
better than a tennisball...

that's my new tagline.

I was massaging a client earlier this week, digging into her sacrum with some powerful thumbfriction... She sighed: "You're better than a tennisball".

I think that's the most unique compliment I've gotten yet.


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 11:01 PM | Pipe Up! (0)


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 10:44 PM | Pipe Up! (3)
August 08, 2005
all the tiny spaceships...

I have eleven aggravating mosquito bites puffing and itching all up and down my legs(fond reminders of the party last night, I suppose).

Sam was impressed, he dutifully helped me put stingstop on them and solemnly said he was glad HE didn't have so many. Now he's busy building a squadron of miniature star destroyers, putting them on my head and exploding-so I disposed of them...

Who knew you could fit 7 star destroyers down a boy's shorts?

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 03:39 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
August 07, 2005
bon voyage!

Just got back from Danni's going away party...

It was a lovely, friendly event, tons of delicious food, a roaring fire, live music and lots of pretty girls to cuddle and kisssssssssss... Until Danni took polaroids of us and started handing them out as party favors-which really only served as encouragement.

Oh, Danni, Seattle's going to miss your sparkle!


We'll toast your health and warmth every time we get together while you're gone.

Brrr.... Ten months in Alaska-stay warm baby.

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 02:19 AM | Pipe Up! (0)
August 06, 2005
i miss my boy!

Sam's gone all seven days this week.

I had a lot of fun(a quick, spontaneous trip to Vancouver and a lovely beach 'hike'), worked an extra shift and did a lot of househunting... Which makes me feel my poverty level rather acutely.

Sigh... Oh well, at least I'm rich in green beans and cherry tomatoes!

S'awful quiet around here without the Samexplosions.

Can't wait 'til tomorrow when he gets back. I think I'll throw him on the bed and bounce him 'til he blows skyhigh.


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 01:47 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
August 05, 2005
music sustains me

Life's rough and you can't always get what you want, no matter how badly you want it.

A friend of mine is going through some wild, stressful, joyous, freeing and hellaciously painful times right now. We commiserate with daily emails, advise each other(good advice, bad advice, silly advice-seldom taken, but much appreciated), share poetry, stories and songs.

We've both spent some rough, tearful nights alone lately and today he sent me this old Joni Mitchell song:

I am on a lonely road and I am traveling
Traveling, traveling, traveling
Looking for something, what can it be
Oh I hate you some, I hate you some
I love you some
Oh I love you when I forget about me
I want to be strong I want to laugh along
I want to belong to the living
Alive, alive, I want to get up and jive
I want to wreck my stockings in some juke box dive
Do you want - do you want - do you want
To dance with me baby
Do you want to take a chance
On maybe finding some sweet romance with me baby
Well, come on

All I really really want our love to do
Is to bring out the best in me and in you too
All I really really want our love to do
Is to bring out the best in me and in you
I want to talk to you, I want to shampoo you
I want to renew you again and again
Applause, applause - life is our cause
When I think of your kisses
My mind see-saws
Do you see - do you see - do you see
How you hurt me baby
So I hurt you too
Then we both get so blue

I am on a lonely road and I am traveling
Looking for the key to set me free
Oh the jealousy, the greed is the unraveling
It's the unraveling
And it undoes all the joy that could be
I want to have fun, I want to shine like the sun
I want to be the one that you want to see
I want to knit you a sweater
Want to write you a love letter
I want to make you feel better
I want to make you feel free
Hmm, Hmm, Hmm, Hmm,
Want to make you feel free
I want to make you feel free

Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 12:31 PM | Pipe Up! (0)
August 04, 2005
too busy to blog

Sam and I are moving yet again...


And I don't know where we are moving to yet.


Our landlady jacked the rent $200 bucks, we have 'til the end of the month.


I've been trolling craigslist for weeks with little luck and mounting freakout factor.


Really though, I'm just complaining 'cause I'm tired, hot and unhappy right now... I'm sure the perfect house will come along soon and then the packing can begin.


Straight from the Queen's mouth. Sayeth rzan at 10:20 PM | Pipe Up! (3)
Mountain dweller