Archive for the ‘scrawlings’ Category

Thank god for the bloob and good friends!

Sunday, June 18th, 2006

I’m NOT clinically insane, or hopelessly obsessive-I’m menstruating!

Jeez, you’d think I’d have figured this out by now and stopped throwing myself smash up against impossible barricades. I guess that’s one of the pains of having an erratic cycle-you don’t quite know when it’s gonna hitcha with all it’s bloody lusty tides of wild, unmitigated desire, waves of angry frustration and crazy, luscious, lovely loving.

I was so happy to wake up crampy this morning.

I’m so glad I have friends in the house who love me.

Hurrah!

Oh, an’ I promise I’ll tellya about yesterday’s awesome artistic, erotic festivities soon-with pics!

:)

What kind of goddess am I?

Saturday, February 11th, 2006

No, this isn’t one of those cheesy online quizzes where they explain how we’re all goddesses inside… Sure, metaphysically speaking, I get it. And when I’m feelin’ all radiant, snarkysparkly, or SacredEarthMotherish I can feel the Holy spirit shine on, but what about all those other times, all those other mes? The puny, crawly ones who aren’t so bright and shiney? Who slog along despondantly, or want to curl up in a crack under the bedcovers in a weepy little ball ’cause there’s no one to hold them and say: ‘It’s all gonna be OK?’ Or the mean, mad ones who just want to scream and lash out, hurt and break things?

I know there’s Kali energy for the really serious shit, but all the petty moods and moments, all the crappy little things, all the confusion, delusion and dissatisfactions, add up too and need some kind of eruption, burnt offerings, holy redemption, breakthrough-something to sizzle and crackle and flare, to ignite them, to burn through the whole clotted, tangled mass.

Meredith Brooks’ song ‘Bitch’ captures some of what I’m talking about:

‘I hate the world today
You’re so good to me
I know but I can’t change
tried to tell you but you look at me like maybe I’m an angel
underneath
innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
You must have been relieved to see the softer side
I can understand how you’d be so confused
I don’t envy you
I’m a little bit of everything
all rolled into one

I’m a bitch, I’m a lover
I’m a child, I’m a mother
I’m a sinner, I’m a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I’m your health, I’m your dream
I’m nothing in between
You know you wouldn’t want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean you’ll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
and I’m going to extremes
tomorrow I will change
and today won’t mean a thing

Just when you think you’ve got me figured out
the season’s already changing
I think it’s cool you do what you do
and don’t try to save me

I’m a bitch, I’m a tease
I’m a goddess on my knees
when you hurt, when you suffer
I’m your angel undercover
I’ve been numbed, I’m revived
can’t say I’m not alive
You know I wouldn’t want it any other way.’

Well, I’m certainly alive, that’s fer sure*rueful grin*. So, for this week of my life, I offer up my most heartfelt prayers to the supraliminal Goddess of Crappy Little Things.

Burn baby burn!

Blustery night

Tuesday, January 17th, 2006

It’s stormin’ out there again, rattling against the windows and pouring sheets of cold grey rain.

I wonder if it’s snowing in the icy northern Maine woods where I grew up?

I feel so waterlogged. Did we really see the sun only a few days ago, or was it all smoke and mirrors? I think I’m going to float away. Maybe I’ll drift on down the coast ’til I find a sunny beach to lounge upon, let the sun squeeze the water out of my bones.

Creation porn

Friday, December 23rd, 2005

Watch out kiddies-it’s rated:
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DO
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YOU
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REALLY
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WANT
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READ
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THIS???

In the beginning there was blackness, void… interspersed with nothing, but these scattered moments of nothing wanted, for they realised, suddenly, horrendously, the disturbing lack of… something, anything, everything.

Nothing coalesced, naked in the void.

Nothing writhed, squirmed, whimpered, begged to be heard, touched, loved…

Nothing arced and whined and moaned but, coincidentally perhaps, nothing happened.

Nothing screamed with rage and impotence and flung itself against the void.

Still nothing.

Nothing sulked.

Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Finally Nothing gave up, melted into the void and-oh GOD!-found himself wrapped in herness…

Void, shocked into being, kissed Nothing, just for the hell of it and she liked the soft budding of their lips, so she kissed him again and again and…

He fit against her like, well truly like nothing ever had before. She shuddered into him, unbearable, ecstatic intimacy leaping between their layers, superficial, yet so deep she could hear thunder come into being as they found themselves possessed of tongues, teeth, hands, fingers, playful fleshy squishy parts…

Lightning crashed them apart the moment their hearts began to beat-they saw each other for the first time, shocking fleshtones, sky-dark hair and so many entrancing curvacious bits. Scared, intrigued enough to reach newly thewed arms through the darkness to encompass warm folds, succulent, luscious…

The planets popped into existence one by one, but he had just invented a most delightful appendage and as she reciprocated with the most eager, tender, juicy, inviting apperture imaginable, the cataclysmic birthing of stars, suns, even galaxies went remarkably unnoticed amidst their mounting enthusiasm.

He filled her suddenly, bliss made whole-fully, extravagantly, human. She enveloped him, innocent, wild and full of mischievious, exhuberant, carnal joy!

He rode her, as the universe exploded into being and she matched him surge for marvelous, pounding surge.

At last, as the planets cooled, he lay back, limp and sated for the first time.

She looked fondly upon the multi-splendored cosmos and her spent lover and saw that it was good.

At least, for the first time.